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Never Enough.

Disclaimer: I originally wrote this entry on January 4th of this year. Like, I completely finished it and never got around to posting it because I was so overwhelmed with things. *hides head in shame*

Do you ever feel like there isn’t enough time in a day? or in a month (other than February). I find myself feeling that way a lot lately, and it can be a bit of a bummer sometimes. I’m not getting any younger despite not quite looking my age… so thoughts of never having enough time combined with knowing that tomorrow is not promised… it just weighs heavy some times.

I thought that I would have some free time to write here during my one month break from school and next thing I knew, I was less than a week away from starting back up. I am a borderline perfectionist and not a fan of going back on my word. As a result, when I make plans and suddenly cannot seem to keep them… it kind of depresses me. Such a small thing can seem enormous to anyone who has a similar personality. We tend to be our own worst critics. I have been working with my therapist on this, along with other things like being a people pleaser and not putting myself first.

I know this blog entry is a bit more personal than what I would traditionally post on here. I just wanted to give an accurate update and let my readers know why I have not posted on here. Once I’m finished with my paralegal course in late February, I plan to do a lot more. If time permits I will post or at the very least begin working on an article that has been a LONG time coming.

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Pausing for Education.

So, last month September I was super excited to start contributing to my blog again and I still am. I have a few article ideas, and the ambition is still there. Yet, it has been divided as of last week October 17th. I made a decision earlier this year that I wanted to return to school to learn the basics and foundation of becoming a paralegal. It was something I had considered years ago but, I put the idea behind me for several reasons. Among them was the fact that some family members thought it would be more worth my while to become an actual lawyer. The money and time going into law school would consume was and remains, something I was not prepared for. The other reason was also financially related. I had already gotten an Associate Degree in Computer Networking which is what everyone expected. I also went to a for-profit school to obtain that degree; unfortunately putting me into quite a bit of student debt that I am still working to pay off.

Experience, has since shown me that doing what is expected is not always worth it. I still love computers, particularly software, and figuring out fixes to issues. However, I found myself just as passionate about the law. The years of experience working in a corporate legal environment before I moved to Georgia were some of the most informative and fulfilling times in my life. I truly loved the work, even when it was doubled on a moment’s notice with a shorter deadline. The atmosphere and satisfaction that it brought made me a lot happier than various customer service positions I had done previously. I can now proudly say that I’m a student once again.

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It’s been a rough year… and if I’m being honest nothing has gone as planned so far. I lost my mom about 3 and a half weeks ago which was completely unexpected… She was only 58 years old and still seemed to have plenty of days ahead of her but life is strange like that and tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. I don’t plan to go any further into detail because although this is my personal tech blog I have a separate site for getting all emotional and whatnot. I did however want my readers here to have a clue as to why the updates I promised for January have not begun yet… I’m trying to get my life back to normal or as close to it as I can after adjusting to the loss of someone I loved dearly and spent a lot of time with. 

In addition, my job has been more demanding than ever… even with being off the week that my mom passed away and taking the following week for vacation, this month was absolutely brutal and had me extremely stressed out.  I’ve been off the radar for a good bit of this month using social media a little less and unable to focus on posting anything here. 

I almost got through the entire month without posting and I’m just barely making it but I figured it was overdue, its past 11PM in my time zone but I’m sure its already February 1st for a lot of my readers. I felt like at minimum I need to hold this site to the standard of my personal blog and do at least one post a month. I really want to stick to that because it didn’t quite happen last year.

As for the future, I can say that I’m planning to do a vlog for next weekend just to cover all the things that I’ve been wanting to since December. My health seems to be improving so a lack of time is the only issue I think I may encounter as far as keeping this site up… I sincerely want it to grow and I know it can if I put in the necessary work. In the meantime, I appreciate the loyal followers and I hope you continue to watch and read my work! ☺