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Step One Complete.

So, I did my first stream a little over a week ago. It went pretty well for a first (in my non-expert opinion). I did really well on my overlay edits so visually it was near perfection. My roommate suggested that I add better lighting which I will try next time… especially since I already have a ring light that is still unboxed after like 4 years. Oops.

The biggest problem I ran into was the audio, which I, unfortunately, did not know about until after my stream ended. I’m a very soft-spoken person so the game easily took over my voice for starters. This was followed by the fact that my sound settings for the output of my headset’s microphone were muted. *Insert facepalm* I managed an average of 3-4 viewers throughout the stream and had a total of 17 people stop in all together.

I mentioned in my last article that this is not something I expect to be a major source of income and that remains the case for now. However, I do want it to help me get out of my comfort zone and improve my social interaction skills. I am one of those people who may seem shy or even stuck up initially, but I just need to get a feel for people before I let my guard down. Sometimes I get lucky and meet people that I instantly “click” with, but it does not happen as often as I’d like.

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Everything, all at once.

I’ve gotten more free time since the last entry that I wrote, which although posted less than 24 hours ago, was written at the beginning of the new year. However, I still feel like I have so many things to do and little motivation to do them. Depression is an ugly thing, even more so when it’s clinical depression. It just hits you out of nowhere for no apparent reason and with no regard for the plethora of things in your life that you are already sad about.

I do not want this to be an emotional post though, so I will back off of that subject and save it for my personal blog. I am still dealing with being a bit overwhelmed but in a positive way… so I want to remain positive. I finished my paralegal certificate program with stellar grades that I know my parents would be proud of. Having an education in computer networking and the legal field has been an odd but surprisingly useful path for me already. I am still looking for a day job so that I can take care of some leftover debts from the pandemic and gain some financial independence. However, I am finally putting a real focus on doing things I love in my free time. I have managed to get a bit better at writing regular updates here instead of going an entire year between entries but I’ve always wanted to do so much more than that.

I have had an obsession with technology since I was able to sit up on my own as a baby, I clearly do not remember this but my dad assured me it was a fact. I also love pop culture as a whole which is demonstrated in my about me tab on this site but was also a prevalent part of my now defunct YouTube channel. I still intend to revive it and begin anew, but there is only so much time in a day… and because of that, I have decided to only focus on a few things at a time instead of everything, all at once.

My newest venture is going to be occasional streaming on Twitch. I set up a profile years ago with the intent to be a creator, not just a viewer. Unfortunately, life gets busy and priorities change so I’m only now getting the chance to give streaming a try. Two of my best friends and my older brother have been very patient and supportive regarding my journey of increasing my social media presence and I started to feel a bit guilty about leaving them to wait for all eternity.

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Never Enough.

Disclaimer: I originally wrote this entry on January 4th of this year. Like, I completely finished it and never got around to posting it because I was so overwhelmed with things. *hides head in shame*

Do you ever feel like there isn’t enough time in a day? or in a month (other than February). I find myself feeling that way a lot lately, and it can be a bit of a bummer sometimes. I’m not getting any younger despite not quite looking my age… so thoughts of never having enough time combined with knowing that tomorrow is not promised… it just weighs heavy some times.

I thought that I would have some free time to write here during my one month break from school and next thing I knew, I was less than a week away from starting back up. I am a borderline perfectionist and not a fan of going back on my word. As a result, when I make plans and suddenly cannot seem to keep them… it kind of depresses me. Such a small thing can seem enormous to anyone who has a similar personality. We tend to be our own worst critics. I have been working with my therapist on this, along with other things like being a people pleaser and not putting myself first.

I know this blog entry is a bit more personal than what I would traditionally post on here. I just wanted to give an accurate update and let my readers know why I have not posted on here. Once I’m finished with my paralegal course in late February, I plan to do a lot more. If time permits I will post or at the very least begin working on an article that has been a LONG time coming.

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